Why so many women feel overwhelmed (even when life looks fine on the outside)

Libby Salord McLean
Jan 9
2 min read

From the outside, life might look “fine”.

You're functioning. You're showing up. You’re getting things done. And yet inside you feel overwhelmed, stretched thin, and quietly exhausted. It's not failing. It's a nervous system that cannot cope anymore, it's you carrying far more than any women is meant to. It's the invisible mental load. Life can be so full and overloaded, we don't even give ourselves a minute to realise.

Most women I speak with in my 1:1 or women's circle are overwhelmed with life right now. You're not alone,

Overwhelm isn’t always about what’s happening

Overwhelm isn’t always caused by one big thing.

Often, it’s the result of constant mental load, the emotional responsibility for others, never fully switching off or being the one who holds everything together.

Even when life looks “manageable”, your nervous system may still be operating in a state of alert.

Why you might feel this way (without knowing why)

Many women tell me:

“I can’t explain what’s wrong, I just feel on edge.”
“I shouldn’t feel like this… but I do.”
“I’m coping, but I’m not okay.”

This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It often means your body hasn’t had the chance to properly rest, process or feel supported.

The nervous system piece we rarely talk about

When your nervous system spends long periods in stress mode, it doesn’t always shout.

Sometimes it whispers through:

Irritability
Emotional exhaustion
Difficulty relaxing
Feeling disconnected from yourself

This is especially common for women who are used to coping, adapting, and caring for others.

You don't need to be in crisis to ask for help

Support isn’t only for breaking points. Many women seek support because they want to feel calmer, reconnected with themselves (and others), stop living in constant tension and learn some tools to support their emotional wellbeing.

You’re allowed to want more ease; even if you’re “managing”.

Sometimes, the most powerful step isn’t doing more, it’s slowing down.

Supportive practices like nervous system regulation, emotional awareness and gentle coaching can help your body and mind feel safe enough to soften again.

And from that place, clarity often follows.